• For some reason I couldn't get my cursor to appear without hitting that bullet.
  
• I do not want want a bullet to appear every time I hit "return," yet I am too lazy to figure out how to stop it.
  
• I feel like I should be typing "drop page" after every bulleted sentence.  If you know what movie I'm referring to, I love you.

OK, all I had to do was hit "return" twice.  It has been quite a while since I last posted.  Not much has changed since last time.  I'm sitting in the same chair, the same sleeping baby wedged up against my leg.  She's just a little bigger now. :) Lately I've been contemplating the point of blogging.  When I started over 4 years ago, it was because the whole idea of it was very new and novel to me.  I told myself it might be a way to learn some simple HTML.  Well, that obviously hasn't happened.  I still don't even know what HTML stands for.  First there was xanga and myspace, then there was facebook, then along came twitter.  It overwhelms me.  I signed up for twitter because Ellen DeGeneres told me to, but I can't keep up with it.  I don't have anything to tweet about.  Does anyone really want to know that I spent all morning cleaning up poo?  And if they do want to know, do they want to know immediately?

I feel like when everyone started blogging, it was for fun and games and silly surveys, to keep in touch, another way to converse with friends. But it just seems different now.  I often have trouble telling if people are blogging as a person or as a persona.  If they're trying to connect with me or trying to sell me something.  If I'm getting a glimpse of their lives or if I'm reading a post cleverly created to go along with a pre-decided theme for this week's blog or blog promotion.  Sometimes I feel as if people blog just to "hear" themselves talk or to convince everyone they are awesome writers with a delightful command of prose.  Bleh.  I don't feel the need to blog to chronicle my life or my daughter's life.  I am doing that for her in private.  I write her occasional and random letters (more like notes or emails, really) that I hope she'll enjoy someday.  I am keeping her a traditional baby book where I write down all her "firsts," etc.  I think if I felt I needed to blog her life for her I would go crazy trying to find the time for daily posts.  Too much pressure.  Having said all this, every once in a while, I get the urge to make a post, so I'm sure I'll keep this xanga around. 

I set up a Skype account yesterday.  It was so easy.  Bennett had her first video call to grandma last night.  I'm hoping that Ben's parents can try to see her every day now, at least to say good morning or good night.  I like this technology.  In so many ways I feel that technology (blogging, facebooking, etc.) brings people closer yet takes away a lot of the best things about our humanness- a smile, a laugh, the comfort of hearing of loved one's voice.  But this is one technology I feel helps bring that back to us a little.

I had a birthday a couple weeks ago.  Next year will be the big 3-0.  I would like to think I'll be OK with turning 30, but I know it's going to bother me.  For other people, I think 30 seems so young, but I know I won't allow that same acceptance for myself.  Ben and I were born less than 3 weeks apart- those are going to be a long 20 days when I have to be in my 30s without him. ;)  I've decided the only way I'll be cool with turning 30 is if (1) I'm in the best shape of my life and (2) if Ben and I have an awesome vacation planned for the summer, just the two of us. That means I have a little less than a year to lose the 10-12 pregnancy pounds I'm still carrying, to get fit, and to save up some Cabo money.

Wrapping up...God has been working on me in some uncomfortable but good ways lately.  I've been staring down my faith and needing to determine its true value in my life and the depth of its roots in my soul.  If I believe what I believe because it's convenient and comfortable, or because it's the truth written in the Bible.  The results are both reassuring and frightening.  Reassuring because I find myself with more trust and faith than ever, and frightening because I know I need to do more with it.  To be more broken-hearted for people who are lost and hurting, to be more passionate about the things that truly matter in life.  How sad and lost I would be without Jesus!  I want to be more deliberate with my witness, to make myself a living sacrifice and a testimony to who He is and what He has done, not just for me, but for the whole world.

I think I am the anti-Rocco DiSpirito.  He can take any recipe and make it healthy.  Big deal, I say.  Anyone can do that.  My special talent is taking healthy recipes and making them totally fattening and bad for you.  Last night we had a delicious dish from a recipe I saw in Fitness magazine awhile back.  Just thought I'd share the recipe.  It was great with a small salad and of course, bread, to add more carbs.


Start to finish: about 30 min.
Servings: 6

2 (9 oz) packages frozen or fresh light cheese tortellini or ravioli (I used one 20 oz. package NOT light)
1 medium zucchini, halved lengthwise and cut crosswise into 1/4-inch slices
1 small red bell pepper, cored, seeded and diced
1 small yellow bell pepper, cored, seeded and diced (I used orange)
1 cup fat-free half-and-half (Why use this when I have heavy cream, I thought)
1/4 cup prepared pesto (I used Tastefully Simple Tomato & Garlic Pesto since I can't have nuts)
1/4 pound ham, cubed (I did not use this because I didn't have any.  I think the recipe was fine without it, but prosciutto might be a nice touch)

Cook pasta in a large pot of lightly salted boiling water until al dente.  For the last 2 minutes of cooking, add zucchini and peppers.  Drain in colander.

Add half-and-half, pesto and ham to pot.  Heat over medium-high heat for 3 minutes.  Return pasta and vegetables to pot; toss with sauce to coat.  Remove from heat.  Let stand for 10 minutes to thicken slightly before serving.

Ben & I were big fans of Rob & Big, so we were naturally curious to watch Rob Dyrdek's new show, Fantasy Factory.  By the way, we have DVR now and I don't know how we ever lived without it.  Anyway, for those of you who don't know about him, Rob Dyrdek is a pro skateboarder and entrepreneur (from Kettering) who is known for his crazy ideas and eccentric pursuits.  Basically, he is a grown-up kid with more money than he knows what to do with.  Fantasy Factory is a reality show about his latest adventure in a 25,000-square-foot warehouse in Los Angeles.  In the fantasy factory, Rob conducts his business surrounded by everything he finds fun and enjoyable.  There's a zip line, a trampoline, an indoor blob, a huge foam pit for practicing bike and skate tricks, etc.

Watching the show makes me think about what my fantasy factory would be like.  It would have the perfect space for writing.  A perfect space for reading, too, with any book I ever wanted to read right at my fingertips.  The world's most comfortable chair, a good reading light, and a little teapot right next to it with every kind of tea you could think of.  A really soft blanket.  A pillow in case I get tired out from all that reading.

My fantasy factory would also have a gigantic gourmet kitchen with every ingredient or utensil I would ever need.  While I'm at it, it would also have a professional chef to teach me everything I want to know.  An endless supply of the world's best cookbooks, but also screens throughout the kitchen that would display my recipe everywhere I went, instead of having to run back and look at the recipe all the time.  The first thing I would make would be egg rolls, because I have been dying to make egg rolls for a while but I'm too afraid I will mess up the whole deep frying process.

Of course my fantasy factory would include a ginormous garden as well.  Plenty of room for all my favorite plants- roses, hydrangeas, clematis, snapdragons, lilacs, azaleas, rhododendrons, tulips, peonies, allium, and room for all the plants I dream about growing now but just don't have enough room for.  Like lilies and irises, and a huge magnolia tree.  And lots more roses.  There would actually be a separate rose garden for all the different varieties and colors I would like to grow.  I'd have an herb and vegetable garden, too, and berries- strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries.  And grapes.  Might as well throw in some apple and orange trees, too, while we're at it.  It doesn't matter that they don't grow in the same climates because it's my fantasy factory, right? 

I would also have a full gym and workout studio with a personal trainer to whip me into shape.  And a fully stocked craft and scrapbooking center.  And probably a TV in there, too, but I doubt I'd have much time for television with all my reading and cooking and gardening and working out. 

I'd be very interested in knowing what would be in your fantasy factory...